Study Study Study

As I am in the third year it is more and more to study but I still think I have time to do what I want to do, most of the time. This past week I went to the cinema and saw the Black Swan, it was good and it was nice to do something other than just stay home. I’ve been seeing my course mates for a pub quiz. This is something British people like it seems like. Which is fun, I like competition and it’s a fun social event. So I am integrating into the British culture.

I am called Swedish by my course mates as I am Swedish, I like my name and it shows that I am someone in my class which I obviously appreciate. However, I do like to not be considered a foreign. I don’t know why but I feel a bit offended being stamped as a foreign for some reason, even though I am. Holly in my class sees that I get offended and she assures me that she does not think of me as a foreign, just another person in our course who is called Swedish, bless :). Don’t get me wrong I understand why and all that its just that it sometimes comes in my way. Ill give you some examples:

1. The second year at uni I had a tutor who got to know that I was not British, probably my accent and the way I speak gave it away (yes, I’m working on it actually). We all in class had not brought in drafts to our class and she got a bit upset and told us off that we are in our second year and that we should be planning better. I raised my hand and told her something in the lines of us having very very much to do and that we just had a hand in that day so maybe we didn’t make her draft a priority. She understood me as an individual because she said: well, I understand you because you are a foreign and it is obviously harder for you to plan as this is your second language and all that it takes more time. My reply was (maybe sadly without thinking too much): Well, I don’t think that me being non British makes me a less good planner, I actually am a very good planner I just didn’t have time to write the full draft for today. And I am sorry I will bring it in next week if you still can consider to look at our drafts.

It makes me a bit upset that foreign people sometimes are looked down upon as they are a bit less intelligent and that they do not understand. I have been experiencing tutors and other older people talking to me as I am five years old; loud and clear in other words which is totally uncalled for.

Another experience was just after Christmas on the train to Southampton. I had my suitcase by the loo's (see I am adapting to the British words just fine) and a man just coming out from the toilets moved it. My instant response was just to look at him and looking pretty chocked and flabbergasted more than anything (in a bad way) and he said to me: I AM MOVING YOUR BAG, IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?? my response was (in a better English than his) yes I understand perfectly. But I do not understand. As I was still in chock I didn’t get to say what I really wanted to say which was: why you move my suitcase when you have just come out of the toilets instead of asking me to.

The third experience I have encountered was recently. I just got an essay back with a really unimpressive mark. Which is fine as I can’t really do anything other than take note of the constructive criticism. One comment was that the tutor has not taken my language barrier into account when marking it. I suppose that was kind but I have never gotten any bad critique for my language, more the opposite. So this was a bit of a surprise in the third year. I believe I am very good at English although I am not British.

I think that I might take offense as I really want to be my own person. I don’t want a label and where I am from to help or hinder me. I have experienced that enough in my life. But that’s another story...


xx

Song dedicated to my wonderful friends!

Studying in the UK

To study in the UK, to move from your home, to move from your old friends, to move from what you know can be difficult. For me it was a really big change - although exciting, very daunting and scary. I have been lucky though as the first day at uni on the international week I met Alex AKA Bangs, the day after I met Martina AKA Cherry and we have been friends since. Friends are very important to me and to have a safety net like them is very important  too. We have been though a lot together - break ups, drama, lovers, uni, party, really sad times and really  good times.  After all, that’s what friends are for right?  To be there  in sickness and in health. When we are down and when we are happy we need to  share the experience with someone and I have been lucky to share it with my new little family. Oh, I’m in the SM building and need to move so  I will continue later...

Ok I’m back! So Yea family and friends  are important to me and without them  I dont think the experience will have  been the same and as good as it has been.

When studying abroad your life changes. Because you don’t have different areas of social life as you probably do in your home town. I left all my friends and got two new really good friends. I am lucky enough to have many  close friends in Sweden but I don’t have that here. Those I do have, however are the best ones I could ever wish for. Ok back to the topic - sorry I am wandering off here talking about my awesome friends - what I meant to say was that here in the UK you have to work hard to create something similar to a normal life. It took me a couple of years to get to were I am now and it is only getting better.

First year I only had Alex and Martina. We hung out every day more or less and did everything together. Also, I wanted a normal life so I did not go out the first year much at all as I thought that having a good base at home (which I am used to) was more important. So we sat at home and cooked dinner, film and all that. We did go out, don’t get me wrong but as it was important for us to have a home we were busy creating that.

Second year I got more close to my course mates and they even have a name for me which makes me feel very special, loved and as if I belong. They call me Swedish!
Third year is the best year but is it not always? The last year of something significant in your life does have an effect on you that  it is the best. You will have the best time and will want to make the most  out of it as it is about to end. But....I don’t want to talk about that. This blog, will however take you through my journey as a student abroad for three years. I will talk about what I experience and how I will cope with it.

xx

Illuminative Art

Illuminative Art is talking pictures. The point is to draw your feelings. This is something I have a hard time with as I want to be as good as possible at what I do. It is important to challenge yourself and try things you are not good at which can be  hard so, I did draw on a white piece of paper. My feelings about this task is that I am hesitant, anxious but I am trying to think about the task having another goal than actually draw pretty. The picture below is the outcome. The white paper represents a new start, a new clean slate which will be filled over the year. The information sign and the feet represents that I am inquisitive. The feet are walking forward which means that I am ready to explore what the future has to offer. The clutter on the paper represents that I am a little bit all over the place and also as a rebel towards the assignment as I feel I cannot draw. So the drawing is like a child's drawing. When talking about my drawing in class Ryan said the clutter looked like lots of hearts which made me happy. And maybe he was right. That is up for every individual to decide.

xx

Creative Management

The first lesson on a Friday morning is a creative and fun lesson. It has been a journey the whole year of creative management. I have realised things about myself and it has helped me reflect on my actions and about myself. As I am very analytic and I think a lot this unit suits me very well.

The first lesson of all was about creating an advert of two totally different words. The words my group got were frenzy and omega3. My idea was first of all that omega3 is something which makes you concentrate and so being frenzy is the opposite so we played with situations were people can be frenzy and also fish includes as they have a lot of Omega3.

The most important about this assignment was to understand how to work in a group. I believe we worked very well, we came with ideas and then effectively we decided on one of them. They were all girls which I knew, which might have helped the smooth process and also we took some ideas from everyone and put them together as one which was good compromise. I don’t think it was much of compromise though as we wanted the advert to be the best it could be, so we took the golden bits from each idea and created the fish advert. Voila!

I also got a card with some words to think about for next week. I got refresh yourself which for me meant that I needed to get fresh inside me both soul and body. I will have to go to the gym and start to eat well and often. Also I need to go through my sorrows which this whole autumn has been about. There has been many ups and downs, as with everyone I assume, however, in the end, what does not kill you makes you stronger right?

xx

How it all started...

Ok, so welcome to my blog. I don’t know how many will read this but its alright as my goal is to have this as a blog for myself as a digitalised diary.

I do not consider myself as particularly creative but I have realised that I am creative in singing and words which is one of the reasons for me to have a blog.

I was born in England and then my family and I moved to Sweden as we are Swedish, so to come back here has been one of my goals in life and it feels great to achieve it!

This blog is about my setbacks and how I overcome them. Its about love, friends and heartbreaks. Its about living abroad and studying and finally personal growth.

Enjoy