My favorite words

Cuddles Creativity Free Bluebells Serendipity Snuggle Buttercup Cupcake Autumn I wish I could write songs...btw lol

W. A. N. T.

W. A. N. T.
Four letters that together can seem selfish. Yes, selfish. The society tells us we should be considerate and think about others before any decisions are made, and yes, that's a responsible way to act - of course. But sometimes I believe it is important to be selfish - think about yourself. What do you want? There is an expression that can be used here; happy wife, happy home...not that I'm a wife! But you know what I mean. Maybe it's true?!

Anyway, I'm watching Parenthood for some reason...well the reason is that I don't have a TV and I am in bed with a cold that never seems to disappear as its been here for three weeks. So Ive basically watched a few streamed TV shows, one of them being Parenthood. I love that Lauren Graham, from Gilmore Girls, is in it! Amazing character and I love her daughter in it too...and the grandpa is amazing! Lots of authority...anyway the TV show is about a family and they all live close together, well a few live in the same house but they all live in the same city. They all hang out having dinners, go to school together, just walking in to someones house to hang out, Its just very relaxed and very intimate between them all which I really long for.

I long for being closer to my family, because after all, they are my FAMILY and they come first in my life - always! I want to be able to pop over to my mum and dad just to chat with them, have dinner maybe or a cup of tea and then leave. I would love to just be able to snuggle down in a sofa with my sisters and brother watching a film or just some random TV show, laughing....I would love that. I really miss my family and I realise I am here, in London, chasing after my 'dream' because I have said I would move back to London ever since my family moved to Sweden, over 19 years ago! Its just crazy! Will it be so horrible if I left London, to go HOME and to just be there, figure things out, start my career there? Will it be fun? Will it be the TV show Parenthood?? Probably not to be honest. After all, a TV show is directed to show only interesting parts of a family's life, right? I'm just saying, that is my dream. But maybe I need to fight to get the dream to work in London...maybe...does anyone else struggle? Probably, but i feel very lonely, although I'm not alone.

To strive towards a goal - a career goal, does this have to mean I need to be away from my family? Ah, I'm so confused now, I don't know what I want or what I need to make myself feel good.

Don't get me wrong! I am so happy at my two jobs that I have. They give me confidence, I learn a lot from both of the jobs I have. I realise I need to feel needed, I need to feel that I am doing a good job and I need praise when I have done something good - otherwise I shut down. This is something that I need to work on, of course, because, although I am now out in the real world, it has, so far, been really kind to me. Where I work, they are funny, take me on board, I feel welcome and competent which is really important to me! So I LOVE it!!!

Maybe I can just stay here for a while, and see how it goes...maybe I'll move home later..when I'm older...yea maybe...or maybe Ill stay....time will tell...i guess...

xx

My Angel

I'm a lost soul,
come find me

When I look into your eyes
I'm hpoing mine will tell you

Tell you - I'm a lost soul,
come find me

My touch is a cry for love
To love again,
to allow myslef to love again

I'm a lost soul,
come find me

Will my eyes, my touch reveal me?
I am ready?

I'm a lost soul,
will you find me

My angel

Job hunting

Because I have graduated I need to find a job. This is a scary thing to me as its something new but at the same time its so exciting! I cant wait to have a proper job and actually show the world what I am made of!

When talking to my very close friend today about searching for jobs and what we actually can apply for she said something very important to me. She said that you have to have the confidence and bring your best strengths forward! She also said you have to believe in yourself! If you dont think you are good enough you wont get the job and she is so right!

It really got me thinking that I can do whatever I want and if I aspire to go all the way I will get there!

Its simple really, just believe and the hard work will pay off and your dream job will be yours!

So this is what I will do now and I am SO excited, after all the worst thing that can happen is that they say no and thats ok because the right job will come when its time!

Soon I will be a young professional working in London! How cool is that?!

xx

Sad Medley

Look into my eyes, you will see what you mean to me. Search your heart, search your soul and when you find me there you'll search no more. You know its true, everything I do I do it for you...Take me as I am, take my life. I would give it all, I would sacrifice, Dont tell me its not worth fighting for. I cant help it, its nothing I want more. You know its true, everything I do I do it for you.

There's no love, like your love and no other could give more love. There's nowhere unless youre there, all the time, all the way.


Yes, I was burnt so I called it lessoned learnt

Love hurts, love scars...the winner takes it all, the loser has to fall. And I understand you've come to shake my hand, I appologies if it makes you feel bad. seeing me so tense, no selfconfidence.

Im so tired of being here...and if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave, because your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone, these wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase. When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me. I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.

Please drop the past and be true, dont think we're ok just because we're here...

Well I wish that it would rain, heavy rain down from the sky. Maybe then you wouldn't see the teardrops in my eyes. Well I wish that it would rain, it would be a great disguise. Maybe then you wouldn't see the teardrops in my eyes. And all of the raindrops that fall down on my face erase all the memories of you and your embrace. I'll long for the moment that I lose this bitter taste and I don't want you to see me this way

Min anda onskan nu och har; alska mig for den jag ar.

I should know who I am by now...

When something ends, another starts

I am now at home alone just had a long candle lit, relaxing shower. I had to calm myself down because I am worried about my, ready for a serious word? FUTURE. I am scared, not really excited at the moment and I am stressed about what will happen after I finish uni. There are many questions I am asking myself; should I stay here in Southampton (do not really want to do that), should I go to London, Brighton? Should I go home to Gothenburg? What should I do? Study a MA in Sweden, England? What do I want to work with? What can I actually do?

When writing this I realise I should be lucky that I actually have these many choices. However, it is just so hard! What do I actually want to do and when and in what order? Where should I start?

It is sad, it is sad because it’s an end of an era. I have actually completed three years! Its a big thing for me but I haven’t really digested it yet, well it hasn’t actually happened yet but you know what I mean. I need to get my head straight and figure out what I want. It is really fun realising, which I am doing right now, that I can do whatever I want. The road will be up and down, but hey, what road isn’t? This journey I have done here in Soton has been an up and down journey but I have ended up fine at the end of the road. I have come to a cross road and I need to grab the opportunities that are before me quickly and make things happen!
It will probably be alright, as my parents always say, you can always come home. Gothenburg and we are always here but go out and spread your wings and enjoy life and experience what is out there. Mum, dad...I WILL!

Oh, I’m exited now! And as I have completed the Creative Management course, where I have been given tools to overcome obstacles, I will be OK. I only have to remember that the journey is more important than the destination itself. As long as I am happy and content with where I am at the moment it will all be OK. If I don’t like where I am I will make a change!

xx

Picture Perfect!

This post is dedicated to all my angels, friends, family. You are all very important to me so thank you!

- Nothing ever hurt like you -

There is a song by James Morrison which I love. It is a sad song, I like sad songs because I can relate and identify with them. There is a Swedish singer Melissa Horn and each and every one of her songs I have been trough and I can relate to them. Music is very important to me. I love singing not just because it is fun, inspirational and liberating but singing is also one way for me to get out my feelings. When I get the feeling to sing I get into a trans. I get quiet and just want to be by myself. I just sing and pour my heart out basically. I hope my flat mates dont mind; I havent had any complaints yet at least so thats alright.

So yea here is the song by James Morrison. Its about loving someone that really hurt you. And that hurting makes you live.

When I hurt I started to live I think. I lived before obviously but after the hurting in a different way. I grew and learnt from my experience of a broken heart.

- Here is the song -

LOVE

Recent conversations with a few people have made me reflect upon why I am doing this blog. My tutor, Tim, asked me what I am writing about. I said I am writing about my experiences and what I have learnt from them. This will make me a better person I said smiling! He then asked me why do you feel the need to become a better person. I thought about it and finally understood why I wrote my blog!

I am doing this blog because I have always been the black sheep in my family I feel, but strangely I have never been neglected by anyone in my family so its not that kind of black sheep. I have needed a lot of attention from my mother as I had eczema as a child! Because of that we have a very close bond which I love. But also I think because I got so much attention, when my siblings. I have three :) then got some I was instantly jealous. I was a child that cried every day - several times and I always had a pretty bad potty mouth saying mean things to my family which I now regret so very very much! I think that I am trying to become a better person because of how I behaved as a child. This must be a good thing right?

Sometimes it might be a bit too much! I try to be so very clear about who I love and why to my friends (not all at the time sadly) just because I need to make up for all those years. I am also doing this to my family of course. I need to feel loved and by getting love I need to give (which is so much fun!)

You all should try it actually. To your friends, a family member or a stranger even. Smile, hug or kiss them. Give them a note that says I love you or I am proud of you! Maybe just let them know in some way that you are happy they are in your life and that you respect cherish, like, love, have fun with - anything! I promise you that they will have a really good day because of that and you will feel good about yourself which is always a plus.

Hope you will have a great spring Saturday!

xx

The Giver

When doing a personality test online my results were Extraverted 33 % Intuitive 38 % Feeling 62 % Judging 44 %.

I believe that this fits my personality very well. I like meeting new people and understand people when they are upset or sad and I want to make them feel better. I also am, not unstable but rather passionate, but I have a lot of emotions inside me. I can be happy one moment and very sad the next. But, what I believe is very important is to pick your moments when you’re sad so I can cope with it when it is appropriate. The test also showed that I am judging. I believe that this is actually true. One place I can be judging is in the kitchen. As I love to cook and I believe I am very good at it when others e.g. chop the onion differently this can be a bit difficult for me to cope with. As I live with two of my friends I have now learnt that how they chop the onion is nothing wrong and that the taste is the same. I also like to do things my way as this is what I know best. However, important to state is that this is only when I am confident enough that I believe my way is the best way. I love to learn and see how other do things so I can learn.

I will ask my house mates what they think is my personality later, now I need to go! So see you later!
xx

Try to be close to perfect

I feel kind of down today, really tired! I don’t like these days. What’s important is to realise it is ok to feel down sometimes. If you don’t then you don’t know when you are happy, right?

Its just now its my uni work and all that, which makes me feel down. I have so much to do but I don’t know where to start or what to do. I feel tired also as I don’t sleep well and I am stressed! I dont’ like it. That’s one thing I need to change: my stress level. I need to cool down and not make things stress me out as much.

When I’m writing this blog it might seem as if I know myself very well, which I do but some things are just in the unknown...and I think it should be. I try very hard to be a good person. I won’t say perfect, as there is no such thing, but close to perfect. I analyse what I do in situations and I try to make me react differently next time it happens if I consider I did something wrong. But its a lot of work. I try to be objective and try to be critical to myself but that’s hard work. I feel that Im emotionally drained and don’t know what to do to make me fill up with positive energy again.

Maybe I need not to be close to perfect? If people say I'm good as I am, well that because I work really hard to be this person. And believe you me, I’m not better than anyone else so that’s not what I meant. I just feel my life is unorganised and I need to get back on track! Someone show me the way?

xx

Conflict managing

I believe that this assignment had the purpose to get to know myself. I think that I am a person that needs to know who I am in order to be confident. I believe I have a dominant personality around the people I feel comfortable with and less dominant around the people I do not know. It takes me a while to get comfortable around people. I think it is because I need to learn how they react and act in different situations. Some people are really easy to get to know and some are harder. That probably depends on the situation as well. That’s the thing with people. They change and they act differently from situation to situation. And that is fine. But that makes me evaluate and step back and then take my place when I feel comfortable. This may be a less good trait within a work place as establishing yourself in a new environment can be argued to be quite important I guess. But I don’t know I think I need to become more confident within the work environment but I think I’m not because I don’t feel 100 % confident that I can do the job. I want reassurance and I need to take things slow at first because I am so afraid of doing a mistake. I really hope my job will consider that I am new and I don’t know everything. I need guidance and a support system which I realise is much to ask from a work place. But as long as they are open and understanding and willing to answer questions I will be fine. It will take a month or so in order for me to become 100 % confident but I hope they will deal with it.
I am kind of scared going off to work. I keep thinking ‘What If’. That’s one thing I do quite often and I know I need to change that.
The thing is, I am very objective about myself and infected situations often. I am looking upon the problem with not too many feelings. I do however consider other feelings and their need to be understood. I try to be objective to get the best result in a conflict. I try to understand where the other person comes from. I like to think I am fair and I believe that this is a very good trait to have as a manager. I think that if I know the field and feel comfortable enough I would be a great manager because I have the objectiveness and also I consider myself fair and straight forward as well. I think this is because my background ,where I have had many conflicts as a child with my family and this have thought me to deal with conflicts in a good and sensible way. I have had to put forward arguments and I have had to listen. Probably because my mother is a special needs teacher, she has those interactive skills which I have gotten from her. So this time I can say I actually am happy I am like my mother.

xx

Suddenly Im Swedish

Before I came to England I did not want to identify myself with Sweden that much. all my life I have said I live in Sweden but I am born in England. I have always said to myself that I am a little English, BUT since I came here to study I have suddenly become Swedish, its my identity and it is who I am. Whether or not I like it I compare to Sweden and I am compared to the English here. I am proud of being Swedish most times but I am almost more proud that I know and understand the British culture because even if the two countries are close they are very different. There are significant differences between the two countries such as how they talk to people. Here it is very brutal and harsh sometimes (and I thought British people were polite. Polite should be their surname).

But I still LOVE England...sometimes....sometimes I just really miss Sweden. Sometimes (and yes I am making a harsh statement now but it has to be said) I think that England is a rich Developing Country in the way they handle things and how their systems work such as the medical system and other things. Sorry...

xx

This is England

This is England - From own experience (sadly most of the times)

Chinese guy cutting his nails in the restaurant where paying customers eat and wait for food

Commercials on TV with talking animals, vegetables and fruit! What’s up with that?!

Advertising Nutella as healthy...need I say more?

Where being healthy means eat guacamole because then you will get the healthy avocado. In Sweden its eat half of an avocado to be healthy.

Snacks are crisps. And everything such as rice, hamburger and sandwich comes along with crisps or chips! They are big on eating carbs with carbs which is strange for me.

were animals are something we should be donate money for every month; such as donkeys.

It will be updated...

xx

You know, being here in Soton studying, living and having a life is weird. It is strange and it is unknown. Nobody can understand except for the people that have done it themselves. It is strange that I can sit on my sofa (and its not even mine, it came with the flat), I sit and just do nothing. Well, I am on my computer writing but still and I’m ill but still. I sit and sit and go to the library to study, I go to ASDA to shop for food. I cook dinner, go to the gym, TV, sleep. Wake up and do this all over again. Is this life? Am I doing everything I can to make the most out of this opportunity? I think I want to be on the safe side of things sometimes, most of the time probably but I know that I will look back and say: Hm...was that all I did? Really? What happened to all the mini trips we decided to do? What happened to all the little adventures? Well to be honest its hard to actually take time to do those things because its not something temporary. It is but its not really as it has been three years. Now this is my life, my everyday life and its alright, don’t get me wrong but its just...that’s it! Yes, ok now I have decided that I need to do something about it. I have to start doing fun stuff even though my work load is up to my ears and even though I am ill and even though I might have to do it myself...no, erase that, I’m not doing it myself. That’s not me. I am very dependent on people around me. I’m not scared of doing things alone, its just not fun with only me I think. This summer was the first time I sat in a coffee shop by my self. I was in London. I’ve never felt so lonely as I did in London, even though I was absolutely not alone. To make it easier I tried to think I was an important business woman who everybody thought looked good and wanted to be or wanted to be with. I imagined Sex and the City music while I walked down the streets and my Starbucks latte in my hand was mostly because that’s what they do, those people I pretended to be. Its really embarrassing, I don’t really drink coffee anyway. I only drink it when its on the go, its the only good coffee in my opinion. Plus I think too much coffee isn’t good for you.

This whole of third year has gone past so fast. I cannot believe it is soon over. I cannot believe that the person I pretended to be is actually me soon. I can’t wait!

xx

This is my story

Ok, this is my story...

When I planned to go to uni here in England I was single. In the autumn I met a boy (as in all stories, right). This boy swept me off my feet, at least I thought that then. We had a great year with lots of love before I left for England. He was great about me going and we were still together. This boy made me so happy because he swallowed my love and I loved that. But just be safe, I have to tell you that it is far from being a fairytale. When in love my mind fogged. I think that everybody feel that though. Well, anyway I loved this guy. I loved him so much all his flaws became something I loved. I thought that made the love special. He was my first love. WAS being the key word here.

Yes, this summer when I came home to Sweden early for summer he broke up with me. I was devastated. I actually got physical pain inside me. I was really hurt and it has taken all summer and all autumn to get over it, if I am over it. I don’t know. Sometimes I think I am but then I rewind the time and think too much and I’m there again. That is my biggest flaw I think....that I think to much. Someone said to me once, or actually more than once, that I need to chill and not be so uptight. Maybe the person is right but I don’t know. Its just who I am.

Anyway, back to the heart break. Funnily enough I had the best summer of my life so far. I had two work experiences; I had lots of parties and dinners which I love to host and be a part of. I worked and I did all the fun stuff I wanted to. I realised I wasn’t depending on someone any longer. No, let me rephrase that! I wasn’t depending on someone who always let me down. I think my dream is being the perfect couple and having someone I am proud of having and being someone’s girlfriend, I know it sounds really corny (I think I watched too many Hollywood films). The thing is I never had that, not for real. It only existed in my mind. Because he never was there on the dinners and parties. I always got disappointed. I’ll let you in on a secret. We were together for three years almost. That means that we were together for three new year’s eves, but the funny thing is...I have never had a new year’s kiss (my drama queen and fairytale thought again). How bad is that? Been with a guy for three years and never got a kiss on new year’s. The funny part is now that we are not together he quit his job which made him 'miss' all the important events. I think for me I want to show my love to others. I’ve read somewhere that some people don’t think that love exists if they don’t talk about it or show it. I might be that person...

Anyway I think that this break up thought me something very important. I have become more aware of me and what I want and what I need and how I react to situations. That is a good lesson, it must be. So if I am going to look on the bright side, a Swedish saying works well here...tur i oturen. Luck in unluck it means. But i guess its better so say that there is always a silver lining....Im trying to see it and focus on it. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t work...but hey that’s life.

xx

There is a story...

Ar lim och styrketraning svaret?
Hjartat krossat
I miljoner bitar
Krossat i miljoner sma bitar
Sma sma bitar som anda kanns stora
Sa stora
Sa tunga
Det ligger en tyngd over brostet
Brostet kanns tungt
Det gar nastan inte att andas

Hur gor man nar man blivit overgiven?
Hur klarar man sig mot det tunga tunga brostet?
Hur lagar man de sma sma miljoner bitar av hjartat?
Hitta nagon annan?

Det enda jag vill ar att alska
Va gor man av all den karlek man har inom sig?
Att lagga den pa sig sjalv, ar inte det sjalviskt
Och hur gor man det anyhow?
Maybe thats the problem.
Ar det sorgligt att kanna helhet
Helhet nar bara nagon annan alskar dig

Jag trodde karleken overvann allt.
Jag hade fel.
There is a story but no fairytale…not even close

This is a poem I wrote when I was heart broken.I questioned love and myself and what is happiness. I was wondering if I was only going to be happy with another person and not alone. As it is personal and not that good I am only explaining a little about it instead of translating it.

xx

Innovation and creativity

Today in class we had to discuss what the difference between creativity and innovation is. The difference is that the creativity is the ideas and the innovations are the actual ideas in artefacts. The innovations are the outcomes of the creativity. Idea to artefact. It is simple. So what we then did was to come up with new innovations to an artefact already existing. This was fun and interesting because my group went really all out and said the most ridiculous things but it is ok because its said that out of 100 ideas one is good.

I think this exercise is good for the future for us when we are managers or work in an innovative work place. This will allow the group to be creative with no boundaries which can result in great ideas; the pencilling was created by mistake so there you go!

I have another class now so I better go. But I will blog again soon...

xx

Study Study Study

As I am in the third year it is more and more to study but I still think I have time to do what I want to do, most of the time. This past week I went to the cinema and saw the Black Swan, it was good and it was nice to do something other than just stay home. I’ve been seeing my course mates for a pub quiz. This is something British people like it seems like. Which is fun, I like competition and it’s a fun social event. So I am integrating into the British culture.

I am called Swedish by my course mates as I am Swedish, I like my name and it shows that I am someone in my class which I obviously appreciate. However, I do like to not be considered a foreign. I don’t know why but I feel a bit offended being stamped as a foreign for some reason, even though I am. Holly in my class sees that I get offended and she assures me that she does not think of me as a foreign, just another person in our course who is called Swedish, bless :). Don’t get me wrong I understand why and all that its just that it sometimes comes in my way. Ill give you some examples:

1. The second year at uni I had a tutor who got to know that I was not British, probably my accent and the way I speak gave it away (yes, I’m working on it actually). We all in class had not brought in drafts to our class and she got a bit upset and told us off that we are in our second year and that we should be planning better. I raised my hand and told her something in the lines of us having very very much to do and that we just had a hand in that day so maybe we didn’t make her draft a priority. She understood me as an individual because she said: well, I understand you because you are a foreign and it is obviously harder for you to plan as this is your second language and all that it takes more time. My reply was (maybe sadly without thinking too much): Well, I don’t think that me being non British makes me a less good planner, I actually am a very good planner I just didn’t have time to write the full draft for today. And I am sorry I will bring it in next week if you still can consider to look at our drafts.

It makes me a bit upset that foreign people sometimes are looked down upon as they are a bit less intelligent and that they do not understand. I have been experiencing tutors and other older people talking to me as I am five years old; loud and clear in other words which is totally uncalled for.

Another experience was just after Christmas on the train to Southampton. I had my suitcase by the loo's (see I am adapting to the British words just fine) and a man just coming out from the toilets moved it. My instant response was just to look at him and looking pretty chocked and flabbergasted more than anything (in a bad way) and he said to me: I AM MOVING YOUR BAG, IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?? my response was (in a better English than his) yes I understand perfectly. But I do not understand. As I was still in chock I didn’t get to say what I really wanted to say which was: why you move my suitcase when you have just come out of the toilets instead of asking me to.

The third experience I have encountered was recently. I just got an essay back with a really unimpressive mark. Which is fine as I can’t really do anything other than take note of the constructive criticism. One comment was that the tutor has not taken my language barrier into account when marking it. I suppose that was kind but I have never gotten any bad critique for my language, more the opposite. So this was a bit of a surprise in the third year. I believe I am very good at English although I am not British.

I think that I might take offense as I really want to be my own person. I don’t want a label and where I am from to help or hinder me. I have experienced that enough in my life. But that’s another story...


xx

Song dedicated to my wonderful friends!

Studying in the UK

To study in the UK, to move from your home, to move from your old friends, to move from what you know can be difficult. For me it was a really big change - although exciting, very daunting and scary. I have been lucky though as the first day at uni on the international week I met Alex AKA Bangs, the day after I met Martina AKA Cherry and we have been friends since. Friends are very important to me and to have a safety net like them is very important  too. We have been though a lot together - break ups, drama, lovers, uni, party, really sad times and really  good times.  After all, that’s what friends are for right?  To be there  in sickness and in health. When we are down and when we are happy we need to  share the experience with someone and I have been lucky to share it with my new little family. Oh, I’m in the SM building and need to move so  I will continue later...

Ok I’m back! So Yea family and friends  are important to me and without them  I dont think the experience will have  been the same and as good as it has been.

When studying abroad your life changes. Because you don’t have different areas of social life as you probably do in your home town. I left all my friends and got two new really good friends. I am lucky enough to have many  close friends in Sweden but I don’t have that here. Those I do have, however are the best ones I could ever wish for. Ok back to the topic - sorry I am wandering off here talking about my awesome friends - what I meant to say was that here in the UK you have to work hard to create something similar to a normal life. It took me a couple of years to get to were I am now and it is only getting better.

First year I only had Alex and Martina. We hung out every day more or less and did everything together. Also, I wanted a normal life so I did not go out the first year much at all as I thought that having a good base at home (which I am used to) was more important. So we sat at home and cooked dinner, film and all that. We did go out, don’t get me wrong but as it was important for us to have a home we were busy creating that.

Second year I got more close to my course mates and they even have a name for me which makes me feel very special, loved and as if I belong. They call me Swedish!
Third year is the best year but is it not always? The last year of something significant in your life does have an effect on you that  it is the best. You will have the best time and will want to make the most  out of it as it is about to end. But....I don’t want to talk about that. This blog, will however take you through my journey as a student abroad for three years. I will talk about what I experience and how I will cope with it.

xx

Illuminative Art

Illuminative Art is talking pictures. The point is to draw your feelings. This is something I have a hard time with as I want to be as good as possible at what I do. It is important to challenge yourself and try things you are not good at which can be  hard so, I did draw on a white piece of paper. My feelings about this task is that I am hesitant, anxious but I am trying to think about the task having another goal than actually draw pretty. The picture below is the outcome. The white paper represents a new start, a new clean slate which will be filled over the year. The information sign and the feet represents that I am inquisitive. The feet are walking forward which means that I am ready to explore what the future has to offer. The clutter on the paper represents that I am a little bit all over the place and also as a rebel towards the assignment as I feel I cannot draw. So the drawing is like a child's drawing. When talking about my drawing in class Ryan said the clutter looked like lots of hearts which made me happy. And maybe he was right. That is up for every individual to decide.

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Creative Management

The first lesson on a Friday morning is a creative and fun lesson. It has been a journey the whole year of creative management. I have realised things about myself and it has helped me reflect on my actions and about myself. As I am very analytic and I think a lot this unit suits me very well.

The first lesson of all was about creating an advert of two totally different words. The words my group got were frenzy and omega3. My idea was first of all that omega3 is something which makes you concentrate and so being frenzy is the opposite so we played with situations were people can be frenzy and also fish includes as they have a lot of Omega3.

The most important about this assignment was to understand how to work in a group. I believe we worked very well, we came with ideas and then effectively we decided on one of them. They were all girls which I knew, which might have helped the smooth process and also we took some ideas from everyone and put them together as one which was good compromise. I don’t think it was much of compromise though as we wanted the advert to be the best it could be, so we took the golden bits from each idea and created the fish advert. Voila!

I also got a card with some words to think about for next week. I got refresh yourself which for me meant that I needed to get fresh inside me both soul and body. I will have to go to the gym and start to eat well and often. Also I need to go through my sorrows which this whole autumn has been about. There has been many ups and downs, as with everyone I assume, however, in the end, what does not kill you makes you stronger right?

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How it all started...

Ok, so welcome to my blog. I don’t know how many will read this but its alright as my goal is to have this as a blog for myself as a digitalised diary.

I do not consider myself as particularly creative but I have realised that I am creative in singing and words which is one of the reasons for me to have a blog.

I was born in England and then my family and I moved to Sweden as we are Swedish, so to come back here has been one of my goals in life and it feels great to achieve it!

This blog is about my setbacks and how I overcome them. Its about love, friends and heartbreaks. Its about living abroad and studying and finally personal growth.

Enjoy